...
- My feelings weren't welcome before
- I don't want to be a burden
- I don't have words for what I'm feeling
- I learnt to hide my struggles
- I'm protecting you from my pain
- I'm used to handling everything alone
When children automatically respond with "I'm fine" - even when they're clearly struggling - they're often protecting themselves or others. They may have learned that their problems are unwelcome, that vulnerability leads to rejection, or that they need to manage everything on their own.
Our role is to gently show them that honesty is safe with us. That means creating space for their real feelings, staying curious when "I'm fine" doesn't match what we're seeing, and proving through our consistent responses that we can handle their struggles.
Sometimes the kindest thing we can say is: "You don't have to be fine. I'm here either way."
If your school is looking to create environments where children feel safe to be honest about their struggles, our Emotionally Healthy Schools platform provides training to help staff recognise and respond to children who are masking their difficulties:
👉 https://clear-sky.org.uk/emotionally_healthy_schools/
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